Adventures @ Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart is not my favorite place on earth. Shocking, I know. But sometimes a trip there can't be helped. Typically, it's only made manageable by being with Katie. However, as her project is getting ready for the "go-live" stage - she had to stay in Portland this weekend. And since I didn't think it would be a very nice "present" next Friday to say, "welcome home! - we have no toilet paper, Kleenex, paper towel or napkins!" I figured a trip to Wal-Mart was in order. (side note: I only buy paper products @ Wal-Mart - anymore time spent there is sure to give me a rash.)

I drove down the hill and was surprised to find a parking stall amongst the abandoned shopping carts - so far so good! But the Wal-Mart entry has always been a sore point for me. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof point-of-entry technique (copyright pending!) As you know, Wal-Mart employs greeters. And their sole-purpose for 8-hours each day is to...well, greet people (and place annoying stickers on you, your bags, your kids, etc.) The key to my "greeter-avoidance entry" is to cause a distraction or wait for a naturally occurring one - depending on your time crunch. Today I had nothing but time. But I didn't have to wait long - cue annoying screaming kids, being lectured by their parents. Cue spoiled brat rebelling against parent's lecture and voila! Kid throws down slurpee cup and it splatters across the entry floor - "clean up on aisle one!"

Once inside, I get straight to business - the paper product aisle! However, on my way there I am pleasantly surprised to see QuickTax 2006 (Canada's #1 Best Selling Software) on sale. I love doing taxes, I don't know why - but it's true. So I pick up a copy and move-on. And let me tell you I am now one happy camper. So happy in fact, that I decide to play Wal-Mart shopper games! Here's how it works: I randomly pick two employees. Ask them a skill testing question about their job or Wal-Mart products. If they get it right - I go out of my way to ensure their manager knows what a great job they are doing (good prize!) If they get it wrong - I win (i.e. smile, laugh inside and say to myself, "yes, I won!")

("Mary" and "Jake" - Our Contestants! )

Our first contestant "Mary" (no real names are used to protect the innocent) was located in the hardware department (we just got new lockers at work and I wanted to get a door hanger for my towel!) So I find a wicked door hanger, take it with me and walk down the aisle and see our contestant.

S: "Do you have these in your store?" (showing her the package)

M: (no hesitation) "no - but Zellers may have them."

Oh - game over, thanks for playing!

(Official Score: Scott 1 / Wal-Mart Employees 0)

Contestant two is "Jake" (and to be fair his name tag did say he was in training) was located in the paper product aisle. I stand in the middle of the aisle and the product I am looking for is at the far end.

S: "Can you help me find the napkins?"

J: "paper towel?"

S: "No - paper napkins, please"

J: "oh, right - yup, follow me." (And so I do follow Jake, right pass the napkins into the next row to the paper towels.)

J: (pointing at the paper towel) "Is it different to these?"

S: "Yes, I'm looking for folded pieces of paper, often with fun designs on them that make me happy as I wipe my mouth from a great BBQ feast."

J: (looking at me oddly) "I'm sure they are here, follow-me." (And so I do follow Jake back to the aisle we just came from, as he reads to me the products on the shelf until he reads....) "Mardi Gras Napkins!"

Oh - success - well done, Jake! (Official Score: Scott 1 / Wal-Mart Employees 1)

Keeping true to the rules of the game, I ask him to find his Manager and bring him over. He does and I brag about Jake's tenacity and dedication to his work. Jake smiles and returns to work. I pick up my napkins and paper products and I'm pleasantly surprised that I find a teller just opening a new line!

Turns out Wal-Mart can be fun, if you're not afraid to play the game!

"Thanks for shopping Wal-Mart, come again!"

VCR - Why Has Thou Forsaken Me?!

OK - we're proud that we are the active, outdoors, adventure seeker type. But we still have our favorite TV shows (Gray's; The Office; MythBusters and Iron Chef America!)

So when we can't be there to watch our shows - of course we want to tape them, and then snuggle on the couch on Sunday night and watch them together - who wouldn't, right!? Of course, the actual taping responsibility falls to Scott - makes sense, I'm the only one home on most Thursday nights when most of our favorites are on. Plus, I'm the guy and we all know that, as guys, we get taken aside in Grade 7 and are taught the secret art of home electronics and the power of the sacred remote control, while the girls are taught...wait a second - I'm not sure I really know what they were taught when we were learning this...ahhh, it was probably the art of seduction! Fair Trade. But I digress...

Our VCR is kinda old - but really what leaps in technology have really taken place? I have battled with this machine for several weeks - trying to get it to automatically turn on when the show comes on. I mean, it was kinda built for that lone function, right?!

But no - it refuses to to work. It mocks me. Truly mocks me and my inability to unlock its deepest, darkest secret of how to auto record! Thus, I have developed some theories to preserve my manhood:

• Our youngest "make-believe" child, Moustaffa, snuck downstairs and put a cheese sandwich in the VCR;


• Our VCR was a "test version" VCR and doesn't actually have the ability to auto-record;


• When I moved, the movers broke my VCR but were able to secretly repair it back to near perfection - except for the auto-record;


• And finally - The Man Show broke into our house, switched VCRs and installed hidden cameras in the basement to see if I would break the number one Man Rule --- look up the VCR instructions to try and fix it!

The moral of this story (if there is one) - I need to be home to press "Record" when the show is actually playing, so Katie and I can watch it later - arrrgh!

p.s. - Katie the VCR is broken. Can you use your engineer super powers and fix it - thanks.

SPAC

Well it's time for me to do some bragging about Scott...last week he received his SPAC certificate (Senior Police Administration Certificate)! The certificate consists of 10 courses covering a variety of management topics and is one of the prerequisites to become a Staff Sgt. It is a fairly prestigious award (only 8 people qualified for it this year) and the certificate is awarded by the Chief himself. Unfortunately I was in Portland and wasn't able to attend, but I did hear that the Chief had plenty of good things to say about Scott and his accomplishments!

Congratulations Scott…I'm really proud of you!

Animal Kingdom - Fish Creek Park

What an awesome morning in Calgary - a perfect day for a walk in Fish Creek Park! Although we weren't lucky enough to see a beaver, we did see a whole schwack of deer, a flock of birds and a lone porcupine!

It seemed everywhere we explored, we were up close to the wildlife that inhabits the park. Not only did we see them, but they seemed to be as curious about us as we were about them. Our time with the schwack of deer was lengthy since we made ourselves comfortable to see if they would come close. In fact they did - check this out!

Katie also concurred her fear of birds (small ones!) and pretended to feed them. I told her that when they figure out she didn't actually have food for them they would turn on her - hee-hee!

Hope everyone had a great weekend. And enjoy your week back at work (only 4 more weeks in Portland!!)

Isn't The Internet Fun?!

I'm sure I will be killed for this post - but it is soooo worth it!

Being home sick has its advantages - more time to surf the Internet and "google" people! And who better to google than the girl you love!?

I found this wicked article about Katie from her University days! http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca/story/2884

Do you think the reporter had a bit of a 'crush' on her?!

There was another one I found, but the link is weird and doesn't work - but the highlight quote from the article is, "Any team with Katie on it is bound to get an 'A' " (Article is a University Report Card of the Dinos Soccer Team) I love it!

xo

p.s. - don't waste any time trying to google me - "nothing to see here, move along...."

Germs, Germs Everywhere!

For those of you who know me - I kinda have a germ thing. I mean growing up above a funernal home can do that to a person! It's just good common sense - washing hands, avoiding touching things you don't have to, using your shoulder instead of your hands to open doors, etc. (by now, Katie is totally laughing at me!)

So it sucks even more when you get sick - because you think you've been prudent in your germ avoidance. Turns out I needed another batch of medication to get rid of the Tonsillitis. And while my immune system was low fighting the first batch, good ole' Broncittis decided to take up residency in my chest to make matters worse.

This sickness has given pause to my way of germ thinking. Maybe I shouldn't care so much. Maybe the open peanuts at the bar aren't really that dirty and pee-contaminated? Maybe I should lick things that look tastey and throw caution to the wind. Maybe that is the solution? And then I regain my senses and think EEWWW Yuck!

So here's a song I found to get you thinking about the germs in your life. I know it's helping me beat this illness like a pimp beats his cheating ho. Words to inspire you when you're sick next....

Germs, germs, germs, much too small to see,
Germs, germs, germs, always inside of me.
Germs, germs, germs, much too small to see,
Germs, germs, germs, always inside of me.

We can help make ourselves healthy If we wash our hands. We also wash our bodies—But what if a germ lands?
Inside our bodies, White blood cells are our aid. When they see a germ, They fight to make it go away.

Look at that tiny virus Thinking we don’t see it. Go white blood cell. Make me better. Find that virus. Fight it!
Look at that bacteria. I think it wants to hurt me. Go white blood cell. Fight that germ So that I feel healthy.

Germs, germs, germs, much too small to see,
Germs, germs, germs, always inside of me.
Germs, germs, germs, much too small to see,
Germs, germs, germs, always inside of me.

This is Frickn' Funny!

The ability to write and engage your Blog audience is truly a gift. For that reason, we wanted to share with you a site that we've found that made us laugh ourselves silly (or more silly!)

We haven't searched the entire site and, thus, can't be held responsible if there is porn, hate material or bomb making methods within the Blog - but do check out the entries about: Lost Sock; Dear VISA; Hijacked Kitty Kat and Don't Take Candy From Strangers!

http://niftyshopgirl.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Happy New Year

We arrived late last night in Calgary - but it's good to be home (only because it's +10, so it was a little more welcoming!) We are excited to get caught up with our family & friends to see what they've been doing the past few weeks and get back into our routine.

Scott is feeling better, thanks to the medication and Katie seems to have fought off the early warning sore throat she was experiencing too - thankfully!!

We have the rest of the week off together in Calgary and then Katie goes to Portland again for work (only 5 more weeks in Portland!) and Scott will join his team in Calgary to fight crime and or evil!

Thanks for visiting the blog - we look forward to sharing more Boyd Adventures with you in 2007!!

Roatan - High Flying Canopy Fun!

Roatan was certainly one of the most remote locations we visited. Unfortunately, Scott came down with a case of Tonsillitis and was too sick to join my Dad and I on this wicked excursion - Good news...this give Scott and I a really good excuse to go back!

The Iguana Farm
This excursion started with a short drive to a local iguana farm (if you have read our Grand Cayman post you won't be surprised to hear the locals in Honduras eat iguanas - our guide said they taste like chicken, go figure!) I have never seen so many iguanas in my life...they were everywhere!!! You actually had to shuffle your feet through them in order to get along the path. In addition to the iguanas they also had a few spider monkeys and a fenced off area in the ocean which held wild tarpon, barracudas, and turtles. Did you know that Tarpon can grow to 300lbs - yikes!!!

Jungle Canopy Zipline
This is where the fun really began!!! After the Iguana Farm we were driven to a small hut to have a quick drink, get our equipment (a harnesses and a helmet), and hear our safety talk - "keep your hands out of the pulley wheels!". While waiting to head up into the canopy we were entertained by their pet Bandicoot and Monkey. We also got some great footage of humming birds feeding nearby (we tried to take photos, but their wings just move too fast!

There is only one way to describe the canopy ziplines - AWESOME! In all there were 20 stops with various lengths and heights of ziplines, ladders and rope bridges. I can't even begin to explain how cool this adventure was!

Grand Cayman - Hell, Turtles and Stingrays

+31 and Sunny

Of all the excursions this one is a must see for anyone going to Grand Cayman!

Going to Hell

The tour starts with a tour of the island which takes you directly to HELL!!! For those of you who haven't be there it's actually quite a nice little place...they have a post office so you can keep in touch with your less deviant friends and family - not that we have any! On a serious note, Hell is a very small town on the island of Grand Cayman where they have a series of limestone deposits that have been eroded by the sea and rain. Now we can say we ave been to Hell and back!!!

Turtle, Turtle, Turtle

Although wild turtles are protected in Grand Cayman they do remain a food staple for the islanders. As you can imagine the Grand Cayman equivalent of our beef farms are turtle farms!!! Fortunately these farms also double as educational interpretive centers and are actually quite nicely done.

Stingray City

What a weird feeling to look into the crystal blue waters and see huge black images swimming around...and then to be told that, "you can now enter the water!" We took a boat ride 25 minutes into the Ocean, to find a sandbar where the water is only waist deep. An important feature because you MUST keep your feet planted in the sand at all times or risk stepping on a stingray - thus recreating a bad scene from Animal Planet! Once in the water, the stingrays know why you're there...to feed them! We're given many pieces of squid to hold in your hand (thumb down) and place in the water, as the rays swim over your hand and suck up the food - wicked. Your guide then shows you how to properly hold a ray and they swim right on top of you. Or when you're not expecting it, swim up behind you and dry hump your back! Very powerful and fluid creatures and an experience we'll remember forever!