Canadian Idol

This weekend, CTV Canadian Idol came to Calgary to hold auditions for, uuhhh, the next Canadian Idol. We're not fans of the show - in fact, neither of us have even watched more than mere minutes of the Canadian brother of the successful American Idol. But much like the morbid curiosity that causes people to stare at the horrific car accident as they drive-by, so too did we find ourselves at South Centre Mall to take in the Idol action!

(Warning: the following views may not reflect those of CTV)

Hoping to see some freaks of nature, our venture to the mall did not disappoint! The chance to embarrass yourself in front of hundreds of people was enough to draw people from all over Alberta. You'd think that contestants would want to distinguish themselves from the crowd - but those in attendance seemed like they lacked creativity and woke up thinking, "what can I do to make myself different? I know I'll wear my wranglers, cowboy hat and boots and bring my guitar!" You can only imagine their disappointment when the other 1,200 applicants from Cow Town showed up wearing their wranglers, cowboy hat.....

There were a few exceptions and they fell into the following categories:

Women/Girls who must have thought the auditions were for the next Canadian Prostitute Show. Yikes! Who lets their wives & daughters out of the house dressed like that?! But if you can't sing, you may as well have "fakers" to try and distract the judges, right?!

Women, Girls and a few fellas that may have been going to the High School Prom following the auditions. Perhaps CTV thought they'd kill two birds with one stone and film an episode of Degrassi Jr. High at the same time?

Cougars who were mostly interested in hitting on Ben Mulroney (the annoying Canadian Idol Host) and

Gay guys who were mostly interested in hitting on Ben Mulroney!

As far as singing talent goes, you don't actually get to see the auditions at the mall. Contestants are whisked away to the judges area and the mall patrons have to be satisfied in seeing the long lines of wannabes practicing their "best stuff." But all was not lost, we'll leave you with a few conversation clips overheard by some of the Canadian Idol hopefuls in every corner of the mall.

Man #1: (singing)
Man #2: hey - hey (tapping Man #1 on the shoulder) "You're singing off-key."
Man #1: Oh, but that's the way I sing.
Man #2: Oh. (walks away)

Woman: "Tell me which earrings makes it sound better" (sings) and then switches earrings (sings)
Supportive Boyfriend: "Maybe try it without any earrings on?"
Woman: "Good idea!"